Back when I had a real job, I had a boss that just wouldn’t do what I needed him to do. I set out my expectations clearly, I continually clarified and reinforced what I needed him to do, and I tactfully drew attention to those areas where he wasn’t meeting expectations. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out, and I had to let him go. On paper, he was still my boss, but I essentially minimized my relationship with him because he failed to perform.
Oddly, I’m only partially kidding about the above. It did get me thinking about different ways we can influence those over whom we have no control. In ascending order of desperation, here are some ways to influence your boss:
- Do what you say you will. To influence, you need credibility. The best way to be credible is to consistently deliver on what you promise. If you have a reputation for being as reliable as a 1970s model Ford Pinto, then you’ll end up the same way: in a ball of flames at the bottom of a freeway off ramp.
- Address your boss’s concerns. You need to frame whatever it is you want in terms that matter to your boss. If all he wants for Christmas is the GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip, then link what you want to that wish.
- Go Eddie Haskell: Be a boot-licker. With some people, sucking-up actually works. If you’ve got a boss that isn’t repulsed by oral-anal attention, then pucker-up and go for it.
- Frame or blackmail him/her. This option is easiest if you’ve already got dirt on your boss. If you don’t, bring in hash-brownies or poppy seed muffins (shows up as opium in the blood stream), and then tip-off HR and suggest that a random drug test might be in order.
- Sleep with him/her. It’s drastic measure, and one that becomes complicated if sexual orientations are not compatible. It is also fraught with moral hazard. However, it may quite likely yield the result you’re looking for.
After reading this list, if you feel dirtier than a coal miner at a brothel, remember that the best way to influence your boss (or anyone else), is to create expectations of them, and continually manage those expectations.
- Offer timely feedback
- Communicate the larger picture to you
- Assist with your developmental goals
There’s one very easy way for your boss to assist with your professional development – a Wily Manager Corporate Membership for the whole company.
You and your co-workers get instant, practical advice that allows you to confidently handle leadership situations. You’ll be a better boss and get ahead in your career. And best of all, your company pays.
Your company will be happy to foot the bill, because they get an ongoing, relevant, and engaging leadership development program that’s very low cost, easy to follow, and doesn’t take employees away from the office.
Put us in touch with a decision maker in your organization so we can get to work arranging a Wily Manager Membership for you and all your co-workers.
We’ll use our powers of influence…and hopefully we won’t have to sleep with your boss. We’ll try blackmail first.