In many organizations, Annual Performance Reviews are about as popular as Ike at the Tina Turner Fan Club meeting. They are done sporadically, if at all, and they typically have very little impact on organizational performance.
The last big multi-national corporate organization I worked for as an employee had a fascinating “system” for the annual performance review. I would suggest it’s very typical to what is seen in other companies, so in the interests of demystifying the whole process, here is a list of definitions and translations to sort out some of the vernacular that accompanies the annual performance review:
Annual: In the case of the annual performance review, “annual” means maybe once every 18 to 24 months, or maybe never at all.
Performance Review Meeting: This is where both manager and employee avoid eye contact and share some awkward small talk before the boss launches into his/her diatribe of the last year in review. Similar to a bad sitcom in format.
Coaching: This is the organizational equivalent of Batman. You might see it late at night after a signal (usually a corporate memo) has been flashed, but if you see it at all, it will be in a poor light, and you’ll never be sure if it happened or not.
Developmental Opportunities: These are the things you will get fired for, if you don’t fix them. If there were no employment laws, they would revert to what they used to be called: threats.
Pay for Performance: Managers who get along well with people, take the amount of discretionary salary dollars they have, and divide by the number of direct reports they have. Managers who don’t care how well they get along with people give it to the people they like the most. In the rarest of cases, there is a good measurement system in place that everyone understands, and it truly is pay for performance. It is about as common as spotting a unicorn at the fall carnival.
Performance Appraisal Documents: This is a template that bears little resemblance to your actual job, written by someone in HR who has never worked in the core business.
Performance Review Meeting Preparation: This describes the immediate 30 seconds prior to the meeting starting
The Sandwich Method of Feedback: This is where poorly trained managers slip some “constructive” feedback in between two compliments. For example, “Nice shoes; you’ve got some significant improvement to make on your analytical skills, but I like your socks. Also known as the “Sh*t Filled Twinkie” method.
Performance Management Philosophy: This is the same affliction that causes writers of annual reports to declare, “Employees are our most important asset” without the implied disclaimer, “unless they cost us money, or otherwise inconvenience us.”
Seek the Employees View: This is the final 30 seconds of the meeting where the employee is expected to thank the supervisor for the constructive feedback, and declare his/her intentions to act on it. Only trouble-makers would disagree with the feedback. Under no circumstances should an employee ever speak his mind here.
I hope this translation helps. For ideas on how to cope with, and ultimately succeed at your Annual Performance Review, download this week’s podcast.