When asked about manager stress, I am reminded of when I did my very first gig as a Management Consultant. The company I worked for paired me up with one of the wise old owls, whose job it was to show me the ropes, and make sure I didn’t say anything too stupid so as to jeopardize the relationship with the client.
His first bit of advice to me was, “never care more than the client.” It was incredibly cynical, and incredibly valuable. I am careful where, and to whom I repeat this advice, but many of the leaders suffering from manager stress I’ve coached over the years should heed this adage.
You can never be the only one who cares about something. In fact, a key survival skill as a leader in the modern organization is to selectively not give a crap about a whole bunch of stuff.
I am reminded of a public sector client I once had who lamented to me that if they only had more resources, they could get so much more done. I think she was genuinely shocked when I broke the ugly truth to her that she would never, ever have all the resources she wanted. It never happens in the private sector, or the public sector – nor should it.
One of the key functions of a manager is to allocate the scarce resources of time, money and talent appropriately. What separates great managers from the average and poor is their ability to manage the conversion of these resources to maximize the output of their group.
A great way to make yourself absolutely crazy as a manager in any organization is to try to get everything done that the company wants, as well as everything you want to do. You need to draw your own line in the sand, and figure out what you need to do to be successful, and forget about much of the other stuff. A great way to accelerate your journey to stress-leave, and make everyone around you hate your guts is to try to be all things to all people.
Of course, doing the above means you will spend a lot of time saying “no” to people, and risk not having anyone like you. It’s called the burden of leadership, and it’s what you signed-on for once you gave up your individual contributor’s role.
So, to recap:
1) Selectively don’t give a crap.
2) You’re never going to have enough resources
3) Don’t do much of the stuff you think you should be doing
4) Don’t even attempt to keep everyone happy
5) Your career as an organizational leader will result in you being in a constant state of marginal “pissed-off’edness”
Wow… that’s quite a bit different than the stuff they taught us in Business School. But then again, how many Biz School Profs have ever had any success in running an actual business?
