Most managers would rather die in a house fire than give someone personal negative feedback. It seems far too painful, and it would be much easier to ignore the situation and hope it goes away. Hope rarely works as a strategy, and failing to deal with these awkward situations usually comes back to bite you in the butt.
These types of conversations are never going to be fun, but by doing a few simple things, you can at least make it easier. Check out the Wily Manager website this week for a podcast, written materials and other helpful hints on making difficult conversations easier.
Monday’s Tip: Don’t Wing It. Even Improv stars prepare in advance… you need to, too. When planning for a difficult conversation, anticipate possible responses to your challenge, keeping in mind that the response may be shock or denial.
Tuesday’s Tip: Come With Evidence. Do your homework in advance, and don’t rely on rumour or hearsay. Cite observable behaviours or concrete examples of the undesired behaviour.
Wednesday’s Tip: Don’t engage in small talk. Difficult Conversations are awkward enough. The sooner you cut to the meat of this awkward conversation, the better for both you and the recipient.
Thursday’s Tip: Do not defend. In a difficult conversation, it is wise to explain your position as clearly as possible. It is not wise to defend your position, or be dragged into a debate. Be very clear about what you want to convey.
Friday’s Tip: Commit to tangible action. The purpose of a difficult conversation is to affect change. Get agreement on exactly what will be different in the future. What will be different, starting when?