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- Rarely will you be successful without the ability to “relate” effectively.
- Those who leave positive impressions get more done through and with others than those who leave negative impressions.
Listening
- Do you offer answers before the question has even been asked?
- Do you offer conclusions or solutions before hearing the whole story?
- Manage the first 3 minutes
- Take in information
- Ask questions
- Active listening
- Don’t interrupt
Body Language
Body language that will not help you relate well with others:
- Washboard brow
- The blank stare
- Looking at your watch or the I’m busy look
- Finger or pencil drumming
Body language that will help:
- Eye contact
- Smile
- Nodding while the person is talking
- Open body posture
Language
When you do start talking the key to leaving a positive impression is to replace conflict provoking language with language that sounds like you want to cooperate and work with the other person.
Blame
Assigning Blame or figuring our who’s at fault is rarely helpful
- Eliminate blaming statements
- You aren’t listening.
- If you had taken more care …
- Focus on figuring out a solution and moving forward
- Let me try and explain this better …
- What might we do differently in order to …
Commands
- In most situations people don’t like being told what to do.
- Be careful with direct or implied commands.
- You should …
- You ought to …
- You have to …
- You need to …
- Instead try statements of options or choice.
- Have you considered …
- What if we were to …
- Making a request often lands better than a command.
- Would you mind …
- Could I ask you to …
Absolutes
Never use absolutes like “never” or “always” because they always:
- Result in the other person getting defensive.
- Are inaccurate.
- Examples:
- This work is never finished on time.
- This happens every time we talk.
- You always …
Other Tips
- When you are frustrated your “gut” response will often cause problems.
- Reflect, Restate and Respond.
- Check your Ego.
- Don’t come across like you couldn’t possibly be wrong or the other persons idea couldn’t possibly work.
- Show you Care.
- Take the time to get to know the other person.
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