Overwhelmed? Try the 3-Martini Lunch

Back when I had a real job, I would occasionally find myself completely overwhelmed with all the things going on around me.  So I did what I was supposed to do:  I took a couple of minutes, and tried to find some way to dissipate the stress, and refocus that energy.

It didn’t work.

First, I got one of those foam stress balls, but I found myself squeezing it so tightly, that what I really wanted to do was to bite little pieces off, swallow them, and then crap it out and throw it at the people who stressed me out.

I next got one of those audio files of soothing sounds.  Being born near the ocean, I decided to play the “Sounds of the Sea”.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t relax because I kept checking to see that those seagulls I could hear, weren’t going to come along a crap on me.

I took up yoga, but failed to find anything relaxing about some other stressed out individual invading my personal space by shouting “ohmmmmm” in my ear.  Rather than calm me down, it inspired in me the need to punch people.

Finally, I resorted to the old standby of stress relief — booze.  Of course, in this day and age, the 3-martini lunch is frowned upon, so you need to find more discrete ways to manage stress if you choose this option.  I opted to take a flask to the food court – not very discreet.

Then I realized the thing that stressed me out most, was people telling me not to be stressed out.  I figured out that for the last million years or so, humans have been stressed out, and what I was experiencing was really nothing new.

Feelings of stress are good indicators that it’s time for you to take action.  Stress tells the body it needs to defend itself against external stimulus.  In the case of the caveman, feelings of stress helped to not be eaten by a sabre tooth tiger.  In the case of the modern office worker, it to not be eaten alive by corporate bullshit.

Feelings of stress at work are the modern equivalent of the “fight or flight response”.  When faced with situations or people that inspire stress, you should quickly sum up your odds of winning, and react accordingly.

We still feel the fight or flight response, but we fail to quickly sum up our odds.  As a result we try to win every battle, and end up spending far too many hours at the office.

It’s either that, or figure out the 3 Martini lunch.