The Myth of Work-Life Balance

I was out for lunch recently on a weekend with an old family friend.  Our lunch, on a beautiful autumn afternoon, overlooking the ocean was repeatedly interrupted by a Blackberry – and not the thorny cane-fruit type.  I finally asked if my friend’s wife was eleven months pregnant, and if he was waiting on the call to rush to the hospital.

“No”, he replied without looking up.  “We’re well beyond our child-rearing days”.

Apparently, my attempt to diffuse the situation with some sarcastic humor had failed.

Some people find themselves in jobs where they really are on call over a weekend.  For the vast majority, however, they voluntarily place themselves on constant standby regardless of their position.  They then have the nerve to whine about not getting any time to themselves.

Suck it up, Princess, you’re doing it to yourself.

My friend above is a public school teacher.  I have great respect for the work that teachers do, but I’ve got to think that one of the perks of the job has got to be the fact that outside of the occasional basketball game, you are largely left alone on the weekends.  Does a public school teacher really need to be monitoring email messages on a Saturday afternoon?

The honest answer is “No”.  People, like my friend, end up doing so for a variety of reasons.  First, it makes us feel important if we believe we are indispensible.  Second is the addictive nature of being continually connected – what if we are the last ones on the block to know that the Joneses are having ice-cream with their apple pie for desert tonight?  Third, it fits right in with what we’ve always been taught to do – not to hold your attention on anyone or anything for more than 30 seconds.

The myth of work-life balance is not that it doesn’t exist, but rather that most people do not allow it to exist.  It is true that organizations need to reduce explicit and tacit pressure for employees to be connected at all times, but employees have some accountability here too.

The reality is that people love to complain that they work long hours, and never get a break, when in fact a large portion of the dysfunctional behavior is entirely self-imposed.  If you want work-life balance, then turn off your phone, and be completely present with whomever or whatever you are dealing with at that moment.  Unless you’re on call for the next space shuttle launch, nobody is going to notice anyway.