Why Socrates Drank the Hemlock

About 2500 years ago, Socrates lamented the work ethic of the younger generation.  Apparently, on the way to his day-job as a stand-up philosopher, he’d stop at the Athens Starbucks and wait in line far too long, while the kid working the La Marzucco machine (who looks like he fell down the stairs with a tackle-box given the number of piercings and jewelry he’s wearing) would casually froth one latte at time.  No wonder he drank the hemlock – he was thirsty.

Fast forward in time a couple of millennia, and not much has changed.  Anyone over 40 has at least a mild annoyance with those under 30 and how they work.  The problem is, the bulk of the population is hurling towards retirement faster than Lindsay Lohan is to rehab, and there aren’t many people in their 30s and 40s to replace them.  This means the 20-somethings will be taking over the world in short order – probably well before they are equipped to do so.

Unless organizations get their heads around this, and act soon, our whole society will be immersed in the whims and fancies of people who think popcorn was actually meant to be cooked in a microwave.  Here’s what you can expect:

  • Recognition certificates for anyone who shows up on time for work five consecutive times.
  • Job title inflation – the barista I mentioned above will hence be called the Vice-President of Local Product Production and Distribution.
  • Not wanting to work on sunny days will be classified as a disability.
  • If you ask someone for the 2nd time to get something done, you will be subject to a harassment suit.

Of course, I might be the wrong guy to comment on this – I spent my whole first day at my first real job walking around with my fly open.