I was passing through airport security a while ago, and two of the people that are responsible for my safety in the air were having quite a conversation about how drunk they got on the weekend. I was completely invisible, and given that I was running a bit late for my plane, I made a critically poor decision.
I opted to offer these folks some feedback that they should probably be a little more focused on what we were paying them to do, and a little less on debriefing their leisure time. Much to no one’s surprise, I was selected for “random” additional security screening.
I can only claim temporary insanity at forgetting the very first (and only mandatory) rule of offering feedback: The recipient has to be willing to hear you.
Of course, everybody says they want your feedback, but in reality, they’re often not all that interested. How many times have you heard:
“Your Call is Important to Us”
“Tell us what you think”
“Your opinions are important”
Yes, we are constantly bombarded with messages that people want our feedback. In reality, people are really keen to receive feedback that tells them they have done well, or that reinforces their view of the world. Any other types of feedback will only begrudgingly be accepted.
Probably the most dangerous thing someone can do, is respond when their boss says, “I’d like your feedback”. That is the professional equivalent of a person’s wife asking, “Do I look fat in this?” In the history of humankind, no one has ever advanced their own cause by attempting to answer such questions.
The last time I was asked such a question, I ran away so fast, there was a Bob-shaped hole in the exit door. It’s like the “room-mate switch” – it has never been done, and we must never speak of it again. (Seinfeld reference – look it up on YouTube)
So the next time your boss asks you for feedback on his presentation, you need to answer as follows:
“I really thought you nailed the messaging, and came across in a powerful way.” If he pushes you for some constructive feedback, you might want to offer something like, “I probably would have opted for the arial font – I don’t think the cambria is as easy to read.”
Either that, or just run away so fast, you put a {insert your name here}-shaped hole in the exit door.